A Kiss is Just a Kiss...

Pat Buchanan has his panties in a bunch over Obama's lack of response to Chavez's 55 minute tirade where he called America a fat ugly ho. I guess the problem lies with the handshake and book acceptance after the speech. Now I like Pat and I suspect he's somewhat of a real tough guy but he's thrown his lot in with a conservative movement that's full of pretend tough guys. Obama's the real deal. Only three months in and he's already shot three guys in the head. At this rate he'll have 48 notches in his belt by the end of his term. I would have figured that would have gotten Pat on board. What'd he expect the Big O to do? Slap Chavez upside the head? Throw a hissy fit and walk out? Look at the body language in this meet. It's obvious who the big dog in the room is and who's just yapping around his heels. There's no bigger diss than throwing a tirade and being ignored.

Get a grip, Pat. America's not your mom. We got all the guns and money. Chavez has a few barrels of oil and some nice blankets. Who cares about his sorry ass, anyway?

British Enraged - Obama Disses Queen

Britons rioted in the streets London today after a perceived snub of Queen Elizabeth II by American president Barack Obama. The Queen presented the president with a set of cuff links studded with rubies taken from the Crown Jewels. In return, the President presented the Queen with an IPod loaded with Notorious B.I.G.'s greatest hits. "For God's sakes, it was a $47 shuffle!" explained a spokesman for the Queen.

The Queen got a small measure of revenge during a half court pick-up basketball game between the Her Majesty, Prince Phillip and the Obamas after the state dinner. Obama tried to dunk on her and she slapped away the ball snarling, "Don't bring your weak shit here. This is my palace, bitch"

The President increased tensions between the United States and BFF Great Britain with his parting comment:

"It was a wonderful visit," Obama shouted to reporters as he and his wife left the palace. "Her majesty is delightful - for a dwarf."

Obama Takes Oath - Market Takes Dump

I knew it was too good to last

Suck It Up - America!

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Quit yer whinin'. The political process is not irretrievably broken. It's just bent a little. How bent it is is inversely proportional to how well your guy is doing. And right now I feel pretty good about the process. It ain't over yet and I'm sure there is a lot of swift boatin' coming our way but gosh darnit, I'm going to enjoy this fleeting moment of bliss. It's been 8 looonnng years in coming. I don't know if Pennsylvania is the next big state to be abandoned by the McCain campaign but I've noticed a curious lack of 527 style attack ads coming our way. Maybe T. Boone Shitkickins has decided to invest his money in trying to save our country instead of destroying it. We are the land of the second chance.

Look at the bright side. This time we don't have to choose from two rich guys from Yale. We got an aged war hero and his babelicious running mate and a black senator with a Arabic name and his running mate, the man who should be President. How cool is that? And how bad has the current administration fucked things up to make this even a possibility? The potential for measured political discourse is always there. We saw it in the two interviews on September 11. Both men gave thoughtful, insightful answers and I came away with the feeling that either one was capable of holding the office. Of course, the feeling went away when McCain realized he could really lose this thing and begain pulling out all the stops in a hysterical attempt to turn the tide. Palin? Sweet Jesus in the morning! What was he thinking? Of course, I also came away from the last vice presidential debate impressed by Cheney's calm demeanor, so I am no judge of character. I thought even if Bush wins maybe this guy can keep him from doing something really stupid. Little did I realize he would become the Dark Lord of the New American Imperium and preside over the wholesale destruction of the american economic system. Oops.


Everybody complains about the quality of the candidates but I believe those that survive vetting by an aggressive press are for the most part brighter and more able than their predecessors. Even our thieving politicians are a little smarter. Boss Tweed, Jimmy Walker and Huey Long wouldn't have lasted 10 minutes in the public arena nowadays. Secret ballots didn't come into use until the end of the 19th century, blacks were effectively disenfranchised by Jim Crow laws, women didn't get the right to vote until 1920, you could get beat up by club wielding poll watchers for coming out of the booth with the wrong colored ballot stub. And things aren't better? Where was this mythical land of sturdy Cinncinatuses (Cinncinati?) casting well reasoned votes free from rancorous party politics?

Results of the Sarah Palin Fit to President Poll are just in:

14% felt that she did not have sufficient grasp of the issues
14% thought that having a nice rack and being demon free was not sufficient qualifications
42% thought it was a joke
28% prayed it wasn't happening
and 2% must have disappeared somewhere into the interwebs.

I took a lot of flack for not including a positive response in case some of you are actually brain damaged enough to think that she is presidential material. So I be running a new poll just for you.

Will the Real AntiChrist Please Stand Up?

The anti-Christ will be a man, in his 40s, of MUSLIM descent, who will deceive the nations with persuasive language, and have a MASSIVE Christ-like appeal.... the prophecy says that people will flock to him and he will promise false hope and world peace, and when he is in power, will destroy everything. Is it OBAMA??

Why wasn't I copied on this before? If I had known this earlier, I would have taken the sign out of my yard. I hate being out of the loop.

Is Obama the Antichrist? I have narrowed the list of likely candidates to the three pictured above. We can discount the one on the left. The Bible tells us the Antichrist will be a man and this creature is obviously something else. Loathesome and putridly bloated like a demon toad from hell, yes. But the Antichrist, no. Too repulsive. And, while the one on the right is perhaps some sort of male, the blond hair counts it out as being of Muslim descent. Perhaps a Beast from the Abyss, but not the Antichrist himself.

During my research I found this from Revelations:

13:1 And I stood upon the sand of the sea, and saw a beast rise up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns, and upon his horns ten crowns, and upon his heads the name of blasphemy.

As you can see from the image above, that pretty much clinches it. Obama is the Antichrist. Now the question is whether to vote for him. Do we help the End Times along by electing him and trading a few years of tribulation for a thousand years of good times or what? Help me out and fill out the poll.

Slaveboating Barack

Playing the race card by claiming your opponent is playing the race card. Preemptive I know you are but what am I? strike. I smell a Turdblossom blooming and I think we all know who's pudgy little fingers are tickling the prostate of the average white working Joe. You got to give it to the little fucker, he knows how to steal an election. On a more stupid note, self proclaimed everyman and regular guy Joe Scarborough (speaking for everymen everywhere; Joe, you complete us) parses Obama's character, encouraged by an occasion head nod from Pat Buchanan. God help me, I like Buchanan - I just know sometime he's going to start a segment with the words "Now listen, you fuckheads..." and every once in a while he looks like he's wondering how he landed in this talk show special olympics. Joe's take is that Obama "comes across" as arrogant, elitist, condescending, uppity - oops, speaks in complete sentences and eats some sort of foreign soundin' lettuce. Now, of course, Joe himself doesn't feel that way. He's just afraid a lot of regular Joes feel that way. That's some good slick cracker shit, Joe.

Let the fun begin: terrorist fist pumps, will tax your dog, Michele hates America, Obama hates America, Obama's kids hate America, Obama disses the troops, no flag on the plane, no flag on the suit, no flag on the boxers, educated in a madrassa, secret Muslim, uppity -oops, two white women for every brother and he's fathered not one, but two black children. You got to love the Republican spin machine - there is no end to their creativity. Corsi, author of Obama Nation (oh hell, I just got it. Abomination! Like the anti-Christ, that's some Biblical stuff there) doesn't fact check, taking the position that the rumours are worth reporting (you know the drill -"Some say...", "It is thought that...", "Is it possible that...", "Sources tell us...").

Then again, I suppose we all ought to be grateful for our toothless libel laws.