Saturday, July 26, 2008

Top Sekret!

IDORC has announced the winner of the prestigious Casey Luskin Graduate Award. Named in honor of the respected paleontologist marine biologist lawyer guy from the Discovery Institute. Unfortunately, because of the numerous assassination attempts on high ranking figures in the Intelligent Design movement and the wholesale roundup and imprisonment of ID sympathizers, the winner of this award must remain anonymous. We cannot even reveal the winner's sex. All we can tell you is that they have one, or the other. The lucky winner received a certificate of achievement in a plain brown wrapper, a $100 award in small untraceable bills and a signed copy of Dr. Behe's new book, The Edge of Evolution. The second place winner received two signed copies of Dr. Behe's new book.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Billy the WAD Strikes Again

Below are some excerpts of Bill Dembski's breathless announcement of his new work, Understanding Intelligent Design . (I don't know if the cover art showing the Jolly Green Giant's left ass cheek was intended to target the gay Christian youth vegetable farmer niche market or not). For your benefit I have translated from the original Discoverese. I will post a further review when I can figure out how to get a copy without putting a dime in Dembski's pocket. I'll check Dollar Tree in a month or so.

"The book is geared at Christian young people (junior high and high schoolers) as well as for Church groups (e.g., Sunday Schools) to help get the word out about ID"

translation: Attention Home School Parents - Buy This Book!. I've pretty much given up trying to pretend that Intelligent Design is not at its core Christian ideology or trying to convince those who actually know what they're talking about that my eliminative filter can detect design.


translation:Attention Home School Parents - Buy This Book! If the kids are wising up to the crap you've been feeding them from Answers in Genesis, I've got some more sophisticated inaccuracies I'd like to sell you.


translation: WHY AM I SHOUTING? It's so lonely on the cutting edge of the New Paradigm. O'Leary's lost it and the rest of my douchebag acolytes can't seem to stay on message. Home-skool, go to Liberty or Patrick Henry, buy a sweater and join me. Please?

"I was particularly concerned in writing the book to inoculate young people not only against the atheistic poison of Dawkins and Co. but also against the theological and scientific confusions of theistic evolutionists (like Ken Miller and Francis Collins). If this book does its job, both these camps will lose much of their traction with young people."

translation: Attention Home School Parents - Buy This Book! Free anti-reason vaccination and suspension of disbelief brain traction device included. I get my ass handed to me by these guys everytime I show my face in public so rather than mixing it up with the big boys, I'm preaching to the choir, the boys choir.

Some ringing endorsements:

“Bill and Sean have written a superb book that I wish I had when I was in high school — it would have spared me decades of believing in Darwinism!..."
-Michael Egnor

Too bad it won't spare him from being continually spanked by Steve Novella.
...Understanding Intelligent Design is the best book of its type.”
–J.P. Moreland

In the land of the blind...

"In my book Godless, I showed that Darwinism is the hoax of the century and, consequently, the core of the religion of liberalism..."
-Ann Coulter

WTF? I thought it was the religion of Darwinism which led to fascism, liberalism, communism and perhaps even onanism. Of course we liberals based our political philosophy on a hoax. There was no other way. The tough part was burying all those damn fossils. It took the keen insight of a sociopathic lawyer to undue 150 years of faked research. Coulter was tutored in evolutionary theory by Dembski and Behe. That's a three-way made in hell. I'll bet she made them beg for it.