Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Don't Do This


I work in a windowless cloth covered box separated from the other cloth covered boxes by a door. Actually I work in a box inside another box that is off a little hallway inside a bigger box. I also spend the day staring into a box hooked to another box that is showing drawings of big boxes to park cars in. And the ones I dare not name keep our department separated from the general population because of our Tourette's like use of inappropriate obscenities and suspect hygiene.

So my buddy walks out the door and about ten minutes later, when oddly enough I am actually working, pouring over drawings with my back to the door,  the door opens and I shout out "What's up bitch!". Instead of the customary "Fuck you" I am met with dead silence. I turn around, and there, standing in the doorway, looking right at me, is the Exectutive Assistant to the President of the Company. What do you say? I thought you were the bitch I work with? I was mortified and spent the rest of the day mumbling apologies, pretty much to anyone who would listen. Didn't help that the assholes I work with couldn't stop laughing. Anyway, I didn't get fired. Yet.

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

First Communion



"We had practice today for First Communion."

"So, how'd it go?"

"Fine, we got to taste the wafer since they didn't make it Jesus yet. We got to taste it twice."

"I always liked it. Did it taste OK?"

"I liked it! But I think when they make it Jesus it will be more crunchy."