Well, not exactly a conspiracy, since it was only one guy and I didn't exactly rip the lid off since it wasn't any kind of secret but I did write a letter. Now I've been having trouble getting published lately, either because The Man can't handle the truth or it may be that the editor is threatened by the fluidity of my prose. But since you dropped by - here it is:
To the Editor:
A theory in science is a well tested concept that explains a set of observations and makes testable predictions. The idea that life has been on this planet for a very long time and has changed through time is as much a fact as the idea that the earth orbits the sun. The consensus is that evolution occurred by descent through modification, mainly by natural selection, and this is what should be taught in our science classes. Just as there are no coherent alternatives to atomic theory or germ theory there are no supported alternatives to evolutionary theory. So-called Scientific Creationism has been falsified and Intelligent Design remains a vague idea that shows no promise of being a testable hypothesis, let alone a scientific theory.
Here is one undisputed fact that can be taught in biology classes across the entire district: If Board President Helman believes that all species were originally created as they are now, as he has been reported as saying, then he has no idea what he is talking about. Congratulations to the rest of the board for overruling him on the purchase of the Miller/Levine text. May they continue to do so in all matters involving curriculum.
Update: Holy Shit! They printed it. Not quite as I wrote it. Instead of insulting Helman I was edited to insult other, unnamed board members.