Friday, July 10, 2009

Who Says We're Not the Party of Ideas

We got ideas. We got ideas about how to end it with a mistress in a sensitive and loving way:
"... I used you for my own pleasure, not letting thoughts of you, Doug, Blake, Brandon or Brittany come into my mind..." (By the way - I know you're upset so here's $96,000.00 for tissues)
Senator Ensign (Viagra-Nevada) to some other guy's wife

Before we get all holier than thou (or smarter than thou) on the Senator let's review a few mitigating factors:
1. Ensign is a Senator from Nevada
2. Ensign got advice on dealing with the fallout from this affair from Sen. Coburn, the junior and, if you can believe it, stupider* Senator from Oklahoma. Coburn advised Ensign to leave this paper trail and pay off the family, leaving another paper trail. Coburn is an OB/GYN and a deacon. Fair warning OK cowgirls - don't let this guy anywhere near your cooch.
3. Ensign is so obviously wracked by guilt that he forgot that women can be human beings, capable of independent thought and action. Seems crazy, I know. Unless Mrs X was in a coma, it takes two to tango. Sometimes the vagina is as likely to use the penis as the penis is to use the vagina. More craziness, I know.
4. Johnny's in love

Another presidential hopeful flames out. Sarah's starting to look pretty good. At least she isn't sporting a penis. I think.

*yes, I know. But I like stupider more better

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