Shucks

I was just pokin' a little fun. Don't you people have a sense of humor? Just like all the hoo hah about my huntin' camp being called Niggerhead. That's just what it's called. My daddy called it that, my grand-daddy called it that. Hell, everybody in these parts calls it Niggerhead. Cept maybe the coloreds. Speakin' a funny - how'd you like my new tax plan? I got it from some guy in a bow tie who was sportin' a bad case of acne so it's gotta be good. It's called a flat tax cause you can file it on a postcard and a post card's flat. Get it? And don't worry about paying for Social Security or Medicare cause there won't be none. That's nanny state stuff. Ya haveta excuse me - I gotta go find some more Mexicans in that heathen Romney's back yard.

Bonus Babies

Charles Krauthammer, doing his best mini-Will impersonation, grumpily dismisses the Occupy Wall Street movement as the tantrums of a bunch of latte sipping English majors with bad credit. Subsequent investigation of the protesters indicate that most of them have jobs, unlike the retired Tea Partiers. Contrast these yahoos with the Tea Party participants. One worried that the implied contract that a college education would guarantee a job making enough money to pay off the college loans and the other worried that, uh, there's a Negro with a funny name in the White House. One angry that a base alignment of frightened bureaucrats and corporate malefactors have enriched themselves at the cost of the poor and middle class and the other angry that, uh, there's a Negro with a funny name in the White House. One just starting or about to start on a working career in an economy where the game is so rigged that hard work doesn't even guarantee a modicum of economic security and the other, at least half of whom depend on the  federal government for their Social Security and Medicare, screaming at the government to keep its hands out of their Medicare. One makes their way to the city anyway they can and camps out in protest and the other glides in on Koch fueled buses and goes home to wait for the Social Security check. Wonder which one's bullshit?

A Fat Man for Lean Times

the governor sweet talks America

I had the slogan all ready. Too bad the big boned guy pulled out of the race. Not that I would voted for him but I could have taken his campaign all the way. For a fee. A job's a job. As a recently fat guy I appreciate someone who is not afraid to speak the truth to Weight Watchers. Someone who could relate to the soft doughy center of America's middle. By the time I was done with Christie's campaign America would embrace its fatitude and man titties would once again become a badge of honor.

Some freebies for the Gov-
Chris Christie - fatitude with attitude
No second helpings - vote Christie
Loosen your belt America - Christie for President


        

Are You Ready for Some Goofball?!!!

Who cares what that dumbass faux redneck thinks anyway? Merika do, that who. I'll bet that's one bit of ejaculate ole Hank Sr. wished he coulda took back. If Hank Jr. could sing better he'd put you in mind of a long haul Stars and Bars Alabama truck driver. You would think a self styled real American patriot who fancies himself a musician would learn to sing the national anthem. Steelers play off game some years ago - the absolute worst rendition of the Star Spangled Banner that I have ever heard. Worse than Roseanne's because he was evidently trying. Bad, spectacularly bad, so bad that the aural memory is seared forever in my neural circuits. So memorably bad that I can tell you what I was driving, what the weather was like, how much gas was in the tank, even how many birds were sitting on the telephone wire. 94 Toyota truck, sunny 70 degrees, 3/4 tank and 5. That's how bad it was..