Sunday, May 03, 2009

This One's Gonna Hurt

Text of my $4,000.00 conversation ($444.44 a word):
"Maybe we should check the black one out?

Friday we bought a 2006 Ford (Motto: We're not bankrupt yet) Freestyle. Bitchin' ride, for a station wagon. Not the base model SE. That would be the one I had done all the research on. We were on our way in the office to buy the SE when I spotted the black Limited in the lot and, like an idiot, asked the salesman to open it up so we could have a look. Brenda melted at the idea of heated leather seats and I liked the backup alarms. The kids are breeding like rabbits. I couldn't tell you how many grandkids we have now but I know I'd feel bad if I backed over one. Like I did my wife's dog when we were dating. I was backing the 72' LeSabre out when we heard a thump and a yelp and my wife started getting all hysterical on the passenger side. I said "It'll be alright - don't panic", put the car in drive and pulled forward a little bit. These was another thump and another yelp. The dog didn't die. Actually didn't even get hurt, just kind of smooshed down in the mud with a tire track on him so Brenda found the whole thing hysterically funny. That will follow me to the end of my days.
So we drive the Limited around and by the time we get back and park it everybody knows I'm buying this car. The salesman, my wife, my grandaughter. Even me. Traded in two cars on this one. A 97 Mercury Villager (140k) and a 97 Subaru Outback Sport (165k). I got 2k for these, I was hoping for 3k so I squawked a little to keep up appearances but folded up like wet tissue paper in short order. What could I do? Everytime I looked over I was getting that "I want this car - don't screw this up" look. Ah well. Still substantially below book when all was said and done, even with the extended warranty. Maybe my wife will quit emailing me real estate ads for awhile. I'd hate to be paying on something where the terms extend beyond my life expectancy.

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