Thursday, July 15, 2010

Bout Effing Time

We now hold that the FCC’s policy violates the First Amendment because it is unconstitutionally vague, creating a chilling effect that goes far beyond the fleeting expletives at issue here.

I led a very sheltered life in the sixties. My parents never swore, nor did my aunts, uncles or grandparents (although on occasion my Lithuanian grandma would mutter something under her breath that may or may not have been inappropriate). Sure the folks drank and smoked and fought a lot but who didn't? Haven't you ever seen Madmen? Occasionally a "hell" or "damn" and rarely a "shit" but never a "fuck" or (my personal favorite) a "shitfuckers". I remember being totally shocked when I saw my father give someone the finger and yelling "yeah, right here!"  when he was driving me to school. At the time I didn't even know what it meant but I was shocked, shocked, I tell ya and I knew it was something bad because when I asked him about it he told me to shut up. A defining moment in my life or, for some reason, one I remember. I lost my innocence right there. In the suburbs of Philly the unpleasantness was 20 miles away, Vietnam was some pictures in Life magazine or (I shit you not- I think I don't, anyway - you know how memory is) an episode on American Sportsman or Wide World of Sports about hunting Viet Cong and the hippies with their reefers and LS and D were off in San Francisco.
        But I've grown up a little. I like some "hells", "damns", "bastards", and "bitches" in my cop shows. Although "God damns" and "Jesus Christs" are curiously absent and I wouldn't mind a little blasphemy now and again to make it more realistic. And on cable it seems idiotic to bleep out John Stewart when you know exactly what he's saying and substituting "frak" for the F word in the late lamented Battlestar Gallactica. C'mon, almost the entire human race has been destroyed by robots and the rest are fleeing for their lives. If that doesn't deserve a "we are fucked" nothing does.
       But there have to be some standards or chaos will reign. I'd be a different (and probably not a better) person if I grew up watching Howdy Fucking Doody or if Mr. Rogers looked out at me and said, "Won't you be my neighbor, you little fucker." Adult and children's programing should be held to different standards. I don't want to have to explain what a blow job is when my grandkids and I are watching Hannah Montanah. And I don't  want to hear Caillou's dad say when Caillou comes in the bedroom after having a bad dream, "Get the fuck out of here, you bald headed freak, I'm trying to do your mom." And what if, because of the ADA, they have to keep Nina (Melanie was fired because she appeared in two spoof PSA's  - too bad - I liked her and PBS can suck it) on the Good Night Show even after it is discovered that she has developed Tourettes?

Hurray! (cock!)
We had another (fuck! suck! cock!) fantastic day
And (shit fuck cock motherfucker) now it's time to say-
Good (bitch! shit! cock!)
Gooooood Niiiiiiight! (fuck! shit! pussy! cock!)
That would be bad.


  1. Anonymous4:40 PM

    Sometimes, word like these are needed:

  2. Anonymous12:24 PM

    the finger
    by Charles Bukowski

    the drivers of automobiles
    have very little recourse or
    when upset with
    they often give him the

    I have seen two adult
    florid of face
    driving along
    giving each other the

    well, we all know what
    this means, it's no

    still, this gesture is
    so overused it has
    lost most of its

    some of the men who give
    the FINGER are captains of
    industry, city councilmen,
    insurance adjusters,
    accountants and/or the just plain
    no matter.
    it is their favorite

    people will never admit
    that they drive

    the FINGER is their

    I see grown men
    FINGERING each other
    throughout the day.

    it gives me pause.
    when I consider
    the state of our cities,
    the state of our states,
    the state of our country,
    I begin to

    the FINGER is a mind-
    we are the FINGERERS.
    we give it
    to each other.
    we give it coming and
    we don't know how
    else to respond.

    what a hell of a way
    to not