Thursday, February 26, 2009

What's That Smell?

Now I know Governor Jindal has had a bad week, what with being the governor of a state that has required billions of dollars of federal money just to survive and being simultaneously tasked by the Republican party with explaining why it is wrong for the federal government to spend money, so I hope y'all don't think I'm piling on by bringing up this story I read in
The Daily Beast concerning an article Jindal wrote for the New Oxford Review titled "Beating a Demon: Physical Dimensions of Spiritual Warfare".

We've all done things that we regret, particularly in our younger days. Thought things, that in retrospect, were so mind numbingly stupid that we shudder to recollect them. But never, in the mind altered, anti-vaccine, New Age, nature boy, drunken stupor that was my college years did it ever occur to me that my girlfriend required an exorcism. Some of them may have been a little odd, but possessed? I don't think so. Of course, I didn't attend a whole lot of prayer meetings so maybe there is some sort of group dynamic that I'm not aware of. If you are looking for demons you just might find them. Especially in the area of the colon, as Luther was well aware.

Some of the symptoms Bobby's girlfriend exhibited (besides hanging out with Bobby Jindal) included trailing an odor of sulfurous vapors wherever she went and being unable to repeat the phrase "Jesus is Lord" without bursting into obscenities. Kind of like Richard Dawkins after an egg salad sandwich. You would think a Rhodes scholar would be able to eliminate the obvious, such as Irritable Bowel Syndrome mixed with a dash of Tourettes or possibly IBS induced melancholia, before launching into spiritual warfare. He felt a sense of oppression and found it very hard to breathe whilst casting the demon out. I'm sure he did. That was probably the IBS, Bobby. Although it may seem so at times I doubt that the Devil is directly responsible for farts. If the poor girl smelled that bad why didn't you just dump her instead of putting her through a humiliating public exorcism?

So one of the new faces of the Republican party is a self proclaimed exorcist and the other one
needed to be prayed over to keep the witches at bay. That should lock up the batshit crazy vote for 2012. Next.

No comments:

Post a Comment