Wednesday, March 16, 2011

What I Don't Know Won't Help Me

It was right after If You Give a Pig a Party (which is along the same lines of If You Take a Mouse to the Movies - mice and pigs are both very needy) and I was tired and trying to delay reading Mr. Peabody's Apples for the 500th time (the child requires at least two books at night). So I asked her how her day went and she told me that her teacher got the incubator and an egg for everyone and that they were going to hatch some chicks.

How long does that take - 21 days?

No, Miss Hockensmith said April.

Oh, did you know that chickens are dinosaurs?

Chickens aren't dinosaurs. That's silly.

Yes, some people think that the dinosaurs never died out and one type evolved into birds - there were feathered dinosaurs, you know.

Oh, were there puppies then, too? (to Jasmine puppies are not only cute, they are eternal)

No, I think dogs have only been around about 10,000 years. They came from wolves.

No, I said puppies, not wolves. Was that before God walked the Earth?

(Uh, oh) You mean Jesus, yeah, I think so. Some wolves hung around where people lived and they got used to people and people got used to them and after a while they became dogs.

And had puppies?

Yeah, they also warned people when there were dangerous animals around. (Not to mention the fact that puppies were probably handy for snacking on - but I didn't say that). You know life has been around for a long, long time, like 3 and a half billion years and first there was bacteria, then something like worms, and fish, amphibians, reptiles and mammals.

And puppies? What are bacteria?

Well, ahem...ah... well they're tiny little bugs too small to see all around us and they live in us and help digest our food and live on our skin and....

Fortunately she nodded off before I went on to embarrass myself further. Nothing tests the limits of what you think you know better than having to explain it to an 8 year old. I would give my right nutball for a certain clarity of thought.  One good thing - even my second grade granddaughter is too smart to ask "If we came from bacteria, how come there are still bacteria?"


  1. It's worrisome that some adults have less intelligence and perspicacity than an 8 year old. At one time, they were 8 year olds. What happened to them?

  2. Anonymous8:26 AM

    Jas told me that Miss John,(the other 2nd grade teacher), cooked her eggs and has to get more!
    I think I'm going to be sick...