Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Look, I Wasn't Even There

One's a slimy scum sucking bottom feeder and the other one's an amphibian

Oh, David, David, David. You poor simple boy. I already explained that I was hired by Fannie Mae as an historian, not a lobbyist. I know 1.6 million dollars may seem like a lot of money for a monograph titled Small Farm Forclosure Rates in the Oklahoma Territories During the Grant Administration but, to be fair, I did spend three years on it. And the request came in an unmarked envelope stuffed with 100 dollar bills so I never really knew until recently exactly who had hired me.

 I am outraged that you would lead off a presidential debate by telling everyone what a scumbag I am. I'll have you know these scurrilous attacks are nothing more than the liberally biased media's attack on the one Republican who can bring down that Socialist nig...thug occupying the White House. These charges are patently untrue and as for the ones that aren't I've sought forgiveness from my Lord and Savior and I am a totally different person from that other person who didn't really do those things anyway. Ask my wife for permission to fuck around on her? That would be wrong.
Pretty sad when Rachael Maddow's the only one in the press core with a sack.

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