Wednesday, January 11, 2012

A Royal Bain in the Ass

Campaign tip for the Mitster - spend some of that 200 million you got stashed on braces for those kids of yours. It looked like you were surrounded by a family of beavers. On to the speech (translated for your edification):

Today, we are faced with the disappointing record of a failed President. The last three years have held a lot of change, but they haven’t offered much hope.
Forget the 8 years before that.

And this President wakes up every morning, looks out across America and is proud to announce, “It could be worse.”
It could be worse? Is that what it means to be an American? It could be worse?
Elect me and you'll understand

 President Obama wants to put free enterprise on trial. In the last few days, we have seen some desperate Republicans join forces with him. This is such a mistake for our Party and for our nation. This country already has a leader who divides us with the bitter politics of envy. We must offer an alternative vision. I stand ready to lead us down a different path, where we are lifted up by our desire to succeed, not dragged down by a resentment of success. In these difficult times, we cannot abandon the core values that define us as unique -- We are One Nation, Under God.
Don't hate me because I had a rich daddy. You wish you had one too. Oh, and Yay Jesus

Make no mistake, in this campaign, I will offer the American ideals of economic freedom a clear and unapologetic defense.
Fire at will

President Obama wants to “fundamentally transform” America. We want to restore America to the founding principles that made this country great.
Kiss your Social Security and Medicare goodbye

He wants to turn America into a European-style entitlement society. We want to ensure that we remain a free and prosperous land of opportunity.
 Kiss your Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid goodbye

This President takes his inspiration from the capitals of Europe; we look to the cities and small towns of America.
Kiss your Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid and unemployment benefits goodbye. If I don't need them you don't either.

Internationally, President Obama has adopted an appeasement strategy. He believes America’s role as leader in the world is a thing of the past. I believe a strong America must – and will – lead the future.
He apologized to Bin Laden before he had him shot in the face

 He doesn’t see the need for overwhelming American military superiority. I will insist on a military so powerful no one would think of challenging it.
Those Viet Cong are gone, aren't they?

He chastises friends like Israel; I’ll stand with our friends.
The rich ones, anyway

He apologizes for America; I will never apologize for the greatest nation in the history of the Earth.
Nor will I apologize for being such a dick


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