And Some Chicken Nuggets to Go for My Friend in the Back of the Bus

From the What Was He Thinking? Dept. at Woo University a curious exchange between Rand "I'm not racist but that doesn't mean I want to sit next to them at McDonalds" Paul and the sharp as a tack Rachel Maddow. But this was an easy one for her. She just had to clear away a few clouds of obfuscation to get at the gist of what Paul was trying to say about the Civil Rights Act (the correct answer, Mr. Paul, is "yes, of course I support it").  After wandering down the rabbit hole of the history of slavery in Boston during the 19th century, an aside that confused not only Maddow but the rest of America, Paul managed to blurt out something about being against government sanctioned racism. He said this several times so I assume the implication is that private sector racism is OK, being based on the First Amendment Right of Free non - Association. Or something like that. It was kind of confused and not nearly as clear as Reagan's States Rights Trip to Philadelphia, Mississippi, but you get the message. Straight from the I Got Mine So Fuck the Rest of You and It's OK if You're Scared of Negroes wing of the Libertarian Tea Party.

Paul went on to say he would have been marching right alongside Dr. King back in the day. As long as he didn't have to sit next to him on the bus ride down.

The World's Worst Catholic™ Explains the Rite of Exorcism

It's bullshit. There. Need some more explanation? Let me dish out a little theology from the Catholic Cafeteria where I have my own table (and usually sit by myself). I know the cool kids have a different perspective on exorcism and mainly just get upset when it's done "wrong" but I'm here to tell you that there is no "right" way to cast out demons simply because you can't cast out what doesn't exist. I like to think there are better explanations for unacceptably crazy behavior. The whole idea of a personified evil force is an idea so off base it should be relegated to the ash heap of history along with voodoo, witchcraft and Newt Gingrich being an intellectual force in modern thought. As my friend Charlie the Episcopalian Priest (it's ok - that's almost catholic) told me - there is God and not God. Evil only exists in the absense of the ineffable one. You can no more pin down evil than you could stuff and mount a jellyfish to your wall. Evil is entropy - the dissolution of order - death, decay - all the stuff that has to happen. Our original sin has nothing to do with choice and everything to do with the universe we live in - it is in our baser natures selected for survival. Our job, if we choose to accept it, is to identify these forces of selection and resist them. So by identifying a demon and trying through ritual, magic or force of will to cast it out you are doing nothing more than giving chaos form and creating demons to inhabit the possessed and the priest's interior worlds. No demons exist outside the boundaries of our internal mental states. Nor do any gods - but that's for another time.

Not Your Mama's Carol Wright

We were shocked - shocked I tell you! Tucked amidst the Mister Steamy, Magic Mop, Tropical Rompers and various homeopathic remedies were two pages loaded with enough, uh, personal care products to satisfy a Republican Senator. Pictured at left is a device with the patented Butterfly Kiss. My Grammy, a dedicated shopper in years gone by, wouldn't have approved. At least, I hope not. And how about this glowing recommendation from a happy penis pump buyer:

I have owned two of these pumps over the last 10 years, a buddy bought one for me. Really do enjoy the manual one. It is great for expanding and helping when needed. Just loved it and plan to buy me another one for this christmas. I have one that cost $400 buck, real medical pump, like this one better, more uses.

Hey, what are friends for? Although I have to wonder what other uses he's talking about. And  $149 for the battery operated and $90 for the manual ( that sounds like asking for a heart attack to me - after all, who wants to take the time to pump up a tire in the middle of the race?) seems a little salty  to me. I could slap something together using a vacuum cleaner and hose clamp for one tenth the cost.

Happy Birthday Dad

May 6, 1924 - November 24, 2009. Funny how two boys from the same seeds can look at the world so differently. We've been slowly going through Dad's estate - the final repository of a multi generational collection of knick knacks and pictures. My brother lives in a more spirit haunted world than I, going as far as to keep the door closed to dad's bedroom where the old man took his final dive. He says he feels dad's presence throughout the house and he doesn't like it. He's ready to move on. I feel it, too but I like it. I'm a hoarder of memories and I'm not ready to let go of that physical connection.

So we tossed the clothes first thing, secured the Bronze Stars and campaign ribbons, and started moving out his plants. We can't bring ourselves to get rid of the Vitalis and Aqua Velva sitting on the shelf next to the shower. Even though neither one of us had that father-son Aqua Velva moment like in the commercial - you know the one - where, after a bracing father-son game of catch in the yard, the old man tosses the kid the Aqua Velva and the kid says - Cool. And the old man smiles knowingly. We never had a moment like that. And now we never will. And it is unlikely that I could get my daughter to wear it. And I am not allowed to wear it. I have been instructed to remain scent neutral.

Aqua Velva - firms, tones
and if you got the shakes you can drink it.

Newsweek - 8/21/61

Hijacking was a fun trip to Cuba instead of a flaming death dive into a skyscraper, Vietnam was still the "Peanut War" and the Commies were on the run, Kennedy was still kickin, as was Nasser and TWA, the Dow skyrocketed to 722.61 and tough guys played football with broken necks - for a while, anyway. Oh, and Newsweek actually had a bunch of pages - with words on them, no less.

I Shoulda Been an Astronaut

It's dead, Jim? Give me 60 credits and I'll give you a pill that will make it stick up like this

Heard an interview with a disgruntled surgeon on NPR's Marketplace yesterday as I was pulling into the Walmart parking lot. Since I was trying to remember a spark plug number and only caught the last part of the interview, I probably shouldn't comment. But I will. I find well off people whining about stuff that hasn't happened yet extremely interesting. And I don't have to put anything in context. Or even be reasonably accurate. It's a blog.

The guy is a surgeon down south somewhere and doesn't quite have that Marcus Welby attitude we like in our doctors. Some of the gripes are understandable - excessive cost of malpractice insurance and excessive court judgements. I wish the new health care legislation had addressed those. But the stuff about some undefined "agency" coming between him and his patient. I got the distinct impression he was talking about the fee structure between him and his patient. Boo fucking hoo. If it's not the government through Medicare beating him down, it's the insurance companies. But unless he's 110 years old it's not like he didn't know that going in. Doc ends the segment saying that he'd leave medicine tomorrow ( for a job that pays a minimum of 150K) and so would all his doctor buddies. I get the impression that his patients wouldn't object too strongly.

But maybe I'm being too harsh. Eight to ten years of schooling following by the constant pressure of not fucking up enough to get sued or kill someone. I'm certainly not built for that kind of work. I screw up all the time, but hey, it's just money and nobody dies. The decision to enter the medical profession should be based on more than the promise of future financial reward. And I'm sure it is initially for a lot of doctors and maybe all the bullshit regulations and bullshit people they have to deal with destroy that initial Marcus Welby (I guess most of them want to be House now but without the bad leg) feeling. I'm sympathetic.

Update: I'm less sympathetic. On the way home from work I fell in line behind an overloaded lowboy, escorted front and back. On the lowboy was a yacht or cabin cruiser of some sort. 40 or 50 feet? I dunno. It was big. Stenciled across the stern............Medicine Man.

Double update: Shit. I found the link and I just reread the interview and I realize I may have misinterpreted the good doctor. Well, more than may have - I did. My apologies - but I'm going to post anyway, striking out my more blatant errors and claim it involves a generic doctor who speaks at Tea Bagger rallies.

All You Tots - Drink My Shots

Tracy Gray, the zoo’s manager of public and media relations, says “Mr. Roethlisberger isn’t the most popular person lately."

Agreed.  Too bad. He carried that team on his back last year but this is just too creepy. And there seems to be a pattern here. College kids, college bars? Making a move with your dingle dangling? Stay classy, Ben. I've been a Steeler fan for about 40 years and I don't generally care about an athletes personal life but I just can't look at the team the same way unless they dump him. I can't imagine Mr. Rooney is too happy either.

And speaking of dingles dangling in the breeze. I know just how disconcerting it can be to be exposed to a weiner when you least expect it. In fact, I still remember the incident so I may well have been scarred for life. We were on our way to Bookbinders in downtown Philly, my brother and I tagging along behind the parents when we were approached by a loud, incoherent drunk with his dick hanging out. Dad put his arm around Mom and without a word ,navigated her around the danger zone, leaving my brother and me hanging. I guess in that situation it's every man for himself. The parents never said a word. We did. "Hey, did you see that? Ewwwwww!". I don't care who you are. That shit's creepy.

When You're Right...

So, Kelsey, about babysitters -if loving them is wrong, do you want to be right?

The World's Worst Catholic™ Explains The Practice of Religion

To me church was always like a pep rally for Jesus and I've always hated pep rallies. Every week or so they'd drag the entire junior high down to the gym to pep on the Red Raiders of Radnor who were god awful at any sport, anywhere. The idea being that forcible pep is better than no pep at all. You couldn't just say no so I'd sit there, morose, unhappy and refuse to pep. I hated being told to be peppy and Mr. Keene, the Pepmaster, would roam the boards urging the crowd into ever louder cries of pepism. He was a master but I remained immune to his charms and just sulked on that hard, cold bleacher. And I'm guessing my little act of rebellion passed unnoticed. But some kids were into it, really into it. And by and large most of the girls were into it and now that I think about it, the peppiest guys seemed to have the most active social lives. In retrospect, I may have miscalculated by not participating, since a bespectacled, 4'10", pimply guy needs any kind of edge he can find. As I said, some kids were totally into it, dancing around and cheering, some kids were kind of into it, clapping their hands, some kids would let out a half -hearted "woo hoo" once in a while and some kids, like me, would just sit there and glare. What the fuck does this have to do with spirituality, you may ask? Bear with me. I'm crafting something here... an analogy or a metaphor or something.

Which brings me to PZ Myer's latest spittle flecked attack (it's almost like he's wearing a hair shirt all the time) on fellow travelers who don't toe the hard line. This week it's poor Massimo Pigliucci, who wrote something to piss him off. And since I like Massimo because he sounds like Father Guido Sarducci, I will come to his defense and explain why Professor Myers is completely off base.

Belief in God and, more specifically, the practice of religion is more like a giant junior high pep rally than the actual game itself, where you have clearly defined sides. The continuum is not between believers and non-believers, the continuum lies between those who are irrevocably sure of their position, whether atheist or believer and those who don't really give a shit. It's not whether you believe or not but the importance you assign to belief or non belief. If you're going to get all bent out of shape about it you're on the same side of the continuum as any devout Seventh Day Adventist or glaring kid at the pep rally. I would think that in church, as in my pep rallies, there are a goodly number of non-believers or sometime believers in the pews, letting out a half hearted "amen" on occasion and just there for any number of social reasons. And religion's handy when people die. I can attest to this. Centuries of finely honed funeral rites are handy in channeling grief, not to mention for doing something with the body. I just can't see an Atheist Grief Ceremony as being much use. So, really PZ, I'm not a believer either, but what's the harm in a little churchin'? An atheist can never be truly free until he's comfortable enough to sing in the choir.

Leave Tiger Alone!

I tuned in to Moronic Joe this morning for my minimum required daily dose of stupidity as required by MSNBC. Gets me goin'. The stupid flows through my brain like shit through a goose and I got to get my stories in before the grand daughter gets up and changes the channel to Imagination Movers. I love those guys and their problem solvin'. And it's probably more of an educational experience than Morning Joe for both of us.  So the big story was that Tiger Woods managed to get through all four rounds of the Masters without grabbing some visored belle from the gallery, tossing her in a bunker and tapping her ass. Joe (can I call him Joe?)  tsk tsks his way through the segment, evidently displeased that Tiger didn't crawl the course on his hands and knees with his caddy  flagellating (that's flagellating,  people)  him the entire way. Also displeased by the fact that Tiger conducted the post round interview without breaking down and crying, and, worst of all managed to finish tied for fourth after a five month layoff. To top it off, Woods was not sufficiently yes massa to what Scarborough calls the great folks at Augusta Plantation and Golf Club. Two great traditions at Augusta - no chicks and dressing the caddies like field hands.  Then Scarborough polls his crew on their reaction to Tiger Woods, Mika looks disgusted, Mike Barnicle (in touch with the common man, if the common man was a drunk Irishman from 50 years ago) pulls his head out of his ass long enough to give a thumbs down, and Willie Geist, bless his heart, says "well, I like to watch him play golf". Well, Willie, I like to watch him play golf, too. You know why? Because he's the best fucking golfer to ever walk the planet, that's why. In fact, I like to root against him because he's so good it's hardly fair to the other guys. Joe ends the segment by mumbling something about mothers and kids and calling Woods a punk.  No Joe, a punk is someone who uses his holier than thou platform to slam a golfer whose misdeeds affect only his family and his poor sponsors while being curiously forgiving of wide stancing, mistress payoffing, diaper wearing Family Values Republican lawmakers whose actions actually affect a wide range of people. Well, maybe Joe's more of a douchebag than a punk.

And Another Thing...

Did you know that Jesus wasn't really a Jew?

 

On second thought, the religious motivations of Americans have played a large part in the history of this country. So maybe the Texas State School Board has somewhat of a point. But they need to be prepared to get more than they bargained for. I'm sure they'd like to stop with the idea that the founding of this country as a case of God driven American exceptionalism. Just like they push for human exceptionalism in biology. I'm thinking the real story is far more complex and fraught with inconvenient factoids for the budding revisionist Cracker historian. Texas children need to learn that the Puritans not only came to the New World to escape persecution but also to set up a theocracy where they could persecute the fallen unimpeded. Best to get the Dominionist leanings of the State School board out in the open by including tidbits of history like these from the Plymouth and Massachusetts Bay Colonies.

The Massachusetts "Body of Liberties" of 1641 stated that "if any man after legal conviction shall have or worship any other god, but the lord god, he shall be put to death."

"Sometimes the Scripture declareth women and children must perish with their parents ... We have sufficient light from the Word of God for our proceedings."  Capt. John Underhill on the slaughter of Pequot women and children

Then the kiddies can do some head scratching as to which side God was on during the Civil War:

The giving of the law at Sinai immediately preceded the promulgation of that body of laws called the "Mosaic System." Over the gateway of that system, dread words were written by the finger of God—"HE THAT STEALETH A MAN AND SELLETH HIM, OR IF HE BE FOUND IN HIS HAND, HE SHALL SURELY BE PUT TO DEATH." Ex.21.16 

Ephesians 6:5:Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ.

Same book. Different rules. Now that's teaching the controversy. Of course, in Texas schools, religious heritage is code for a weird amalgam of fundamentalist Christianity and state sponsored patriotism mixed in with a little free market economics. They don't intend to put much emphasis on the progressive religious movements that helped abolish slavery, end child labor and promote civil rights. Save that Kumbaya stuff for the California schools.

Kickin' It Old School

 a little tighter, Mammy, you still look human to me

In economics, the revisions add Milton Friedman and Friedrich von Hayek, two champions of free-market economic theory, among the usual list of economists to be studied, like Adam Smith, Karl Marx and John Maynard Keynes. They also replaced the word “capitalism” throughout their texts with the “free-enterprise system.”



“Let’s face it, capitalism does have a negative connotation,” said one conservative member, Terri Leo. “You know, ‘capitalist pig!’ ”

Right, Terri with an i, all isms are bad. Communism, socialism, fascism, Unitarianism, antidisestablishmentarianism, Islamism and especialy jism. No sense confusing the kids with trying to sort out the good isms from the bad isms. They don't need to know what they mean, just that they are baaaad.

The board approved a standard requiring students to learn about “any unintended consequences” of the Great Society, affirmative action and Title IX. (3/11/10)

What unintended consequences? Like when they freed the slaves and they started wanting to vote and hold jobs other than picking cotton? Or when 50 years after the Civil Rights Act we elect a black president?  Or women playing basketball? What the fuck, is this some sort of code? According to the Texas State School Board a little revision in the history books is long overdue. They want to make sure that the Republican party of Lincoln is linked with the Dixiecrat Republican Party of Reagan, the Greatest American Who Ever Lived or Ever Will Live. Every white (or black) southerner knew exactly what he meant by claiming to be for "states rights" in Philadelphia, Mississippi.  Let's not forget that there were people like George Wallace who were against equal rights for blacks. Don't they deserve a mention, too? I mean just for balance. There are always two sides to every story. Of course only one side had ropes around their necks or bullets in their heads, but we won't mention that. Might upset the Heritage Not Hate crowd (although if my Heritage involved great-great grandpappy fighting to keep other people enslaved, I'd Hate to think I'd be dumb enough to wave around the Stars and Bars). I can see where this is going. Back to the same Birth of a Nation/Gone With the Wind bullshit history they fed my father. He told me once that the slaves didn't have it too bad. He went on to contrast  it with his father, who ended up a wage slave in the mines, paying off the mine boss to keep his job. Being the hippie that I am I felt compelled to take the anti-slavery side. Gone With the Wind forgot to mention the whippings, rapes, chainings and breakup of families that took place under Our Peculiar Institution.  Not to mention the night riders, fortified plantations and roadblocks necessary to keep a slave population in check. More like Nazi Germany than the Mammy-Jammy bullshit pictures these Texas dipshits have in their heads. Oh yeah, and it's not American Imperialism, it is now American Expansion. The difference being, I guess, with Expansion you get to kill all the Indians. If I had the money I would give every black, Latino, and Native American kid in Texas a laptop with broadband connection and let them challenge these ignorant crackers at every turn.

Apology Accepted

Paul's substitute elementary school teacher was hard of hearing and rumor had it that if the entire class rubbed quarters together at the same time it would drive her crazy. When the regular teacher got wind of this the class was instructed to pen the substitute an apology. This is the story of one heartfelt apology:

"I am sorry to make fun of your disorder and to annoy you. I think I did it because everybody else did it. I shouldn't of did it. I don't know why I did it because it doesn't work. Anyhow I am sorry and I won't do it again."

Assholier Than Thou

t

the archbishop explains why he's such a dick

The World's Worst Catholic ™ does not approve:

The archbishop of Denver on Tuesday defended a decision by a Catholic school not to allow two children to continue as students because their parents are a lesbian couple. Archbishop Charles J. Chaput said it was a "painful situation," but the decision by Sacred Heart of Jesus parish school in Boulder was in line with church teachings.

Almost as painful as a beating from a Christian Brother.

In his written statement Tuesday, Chaput said the parents of Catholic school students are expected to agree with church beliefs, including those forbidding sex between anyone other than married, heterosexual couples.
"The church cannot change these teachings because, in the faith of Catholics, they are the teachings of Jesus Christ," he said.

"After all", he went on, "If we let rug munchers become parents the whole system would collapse. They are just too 'in your face'. They don't even wear habits. What next? Gay Priests?"

 Ok, Now everybody just reach behind you...

Well, I guess we're fucked. We send our granddaughter to catholic school  and I can't think of any point of Catholic doctrine I agree with, let alone all of them. If they find us out, what are they going to do? Unbaptize her? Sins of the mothers, I guess.

Atheist Faithiest

Faithiest. Accommodationist. One har har perjorative and one mildly insulting. I guess put me squarely in the accommodationist camp. As if we unbelievers have a choice. I'm talking about the controversy raging  in the science blogs between those who consider religion the enemy of science and maintain that a person cannot justify holding religious and scientific methodologies in the same cranium ( the True Unbelievers) amd the Accommodationists (yay) who believe it is possible to be religious and a good scientist and, more importantly, that is necessary to reach out to people of faith and explain that it is possible to maintain their faith and accept the results of scientific inquiry, particularly regarding evolution. Of course, this ain't possible with a Young Earth Creationist. But they're setting up their own separate but unequal systems of "education" and "science". On the True Unbeliever side we have bloggers like Jerry Coyne, PZ Myers, Abbie Smith and Larry Moran on the Accommodationist side we have Josh Rosenau and John Wilkins. In the middle we have openly religious scientists like Ken Miller and Francis Collins, taking hostile fire from the Creationists and friendly fire from some of the science bloggers. Now Miller and Collins are big boys and I'm sure they were aware that they were going to take some shit for coming out with their weird fusion of science and religion. But that's their philosophy, not their science. As far as I can tell, no one in either camp has faulted them on their scientific work. I became aware of the controversy when ERV wrote a post slamming the appointment of Collins to head the NIH. The objections seem to stem from his professed evangelical faith and fear of what he might do rather than looking at what he has actually done. This smacks of ferreting out any sign of belief, even if it doesn't appear to influence the work. We have the spectacle of the True Unbelievers sniffing out any sign of belief, even in other unbelievers. Remind you of any other particular group? As Wilkins says (and, ahem, I have said) it is silly to argue whether a person can be religious and a scientist at the same time. We have thousands of examples that this can happen. The only points worth arguing are which questions can be tested and belong to science.

Freedumb

 

I think I see medicare in my future

Thank you so much for your support and for your love of our country. My book, Going Rogue, is dedicated to you - to Patriots - who fight for freedom!

Fight for what? What does freedom even mean? Freedom not to have a black president? Freedom to proselytize other peoples children? Freedom to go bankrupt because of medical bills? Freedom not to have to associate with people "not like us"? Freedom to be free of witchcraft? Freedom to rewrite history and ignore science. What exactly is she talking about and, more importantly, what freedoms have we lost under the Obama Administration? Patriots, my ass. More like the Know Nothing Party. Just what the country needs - more policies directed by pants wetting nativists. They learn their American history from TV westerns and their science from the Creation Museum. Trying to return to an America that never was.

Curiously absent from the Tea Party list of fears are the exact things that should make them afraid: The ability of the executive branch to declare anyone, citizen or not, an enemy combatant and hold them indefinitely without judicial review. All under the guise of wartime powers - the war, of course, undefined and lasting forever. No knock warrants, DUI roadblocks, random drug testing, pre trial seizing of assetts, eminent domain... How can people be so fearful of phantom assaults on their Constitutional rights that they ignore real assaults that are actually occurring? Don't tell me. I know. They're just fucking stupid.

Ode to Grammy Jo

Mary Josephine Lutz - April 24,1939 to February 15, 2010

I was lucky enough to have two moms in my life - breathe easy, Mary Jo

On behalf of Bruce, Brenda, Brett, Brooke and their families we wish to than you for gather her to honor the life and memory of their beloved mother, Mary Jo Bowers.

Mary Jo was born May Josephine Lutz on April 24, 1939, the second  of eight childen to alcoholic parents. Because of their parents’ inability to properly care for them, Mary Jo and her siblings were sent to St. Anthony’s Orphanage in Toledo, Ohio. She always said that she was treated well, that her needs were taken care of and the staff and the charity of the townspeople saw that they got presents for Christmas. Of course, the basics were taken care of but not much else . When she would go to mass on Sundays, she would sit in the back of the church because she was ashamed of her appearance and felt unworthy to sit with the rest of the congregation. But she still went. And that tells you something about her strength of spirit. I don’t know if it was these early experiences or something in her nature, or a combination of both that molded  such a generous and loving soul but I know the rest of us were very lucky and maybe a little unworthy to have her in our lives.

Well, no child of Mary Jo’s was ever going to be embarrassed by their clothes, although sometimes this could have unintended consequences. Brenda tells about being sent off to school dressed to the nines in  matching sunsuits and panties from Tobey’s here in town.       which wasn’t quite the style for kindergarteners in Fort Loudon at that time. A lot of things with Mary Jo had unintended consequences. But that’s what made it fun or at least good for laugh after the fact.  It was a running joke between her and I about Bowers’ family vacations. I begged her not to include me in  any of them.  While I like to plan everything down to the last rest and gas stop, Brenda and Mary Jo would grab Brooke and the boys and hightail it off to the Jersey coast. Or what they thought was the Jersey coast. But it didn’t really matter because they would hadn’t arranged a place to stay, wherever it ended up being,  Getting lost was a given and breaking down all but a certainty.  And these were not the usual breakdowns, they had to be visually spectacular and catastrophic to the vehicle. Once they overheated and rolled to a stop beside a prison fence, during a prison break. Brenda called me late one night and told me she had a little trouble with Mom’s car. I hear Mary Jo giggling like a schoolgirl in the background.  Turns a “little trouble” included fleeing for their lives with a couple of bags of Wildwood souvenirs while the Estate Wagon burned to the ground.  The last trip I made with involved being chased by tornados across the Delmarva Peninsula.

Mary Jo lived in the Orphanage until she was fifteen, then moved to a foster home for a couple of years, until, at the age of 17 she moved to a trailer park with her brother and his wife. There was a handsome young man living a couple of trailers down, and liking what she saw, Mary Jo went over to borrow a cup of sugar. Two weeks later Mary Jo Lutz and Robert Bowers were married. So this woman, barely more than a girl really, bought herself a Betty Crocker cookbook, taught herself how to cook between having babies and keeping a household,  while moving all around the country where Bob’s work took him. Baking is not easy, baking well is even harder, but baking at the level of a Mary Jo Bowers is rare indeed. I’m sure most of you sitting out there have been the beneficiaries of her skills. And I’m pretty sure it’s not just Betty Crocker and a stove or we’d all be able to do it.

Mary Jo had an uncanny ability to connect to people and make friends. Before she got too sick to travel she would come down and spend a week at the shore with us. We would go to the same place every year and by the end of the week, not only would she know the names of everyone staying in the hotel, she would know their kid’s names, where they were from, what they did for a living, how they were feeling and probably what they had for breakfast. It’s been maybe a year or two since she’s made the trip but even now I have people I barely recognize coming up to me and asking about Mary Jo.

Now you can see that, given her early upbringing, family would become the most important thing in the world to Mary Jo. The difference between Mary Jo and most of us is family expanded enough to include everyone in the room. But Mary Jo was nobody’s fool. She was well aware of the weakness, selfishness and pettiness that we are all heir to. But she would look past those weaknesses and bring out the better nature in people. I know in some of my darkest times she was a source of hope and encouragement to me.

So, although our family has lost the person who has tied it all together for so many years, I like to believe that Grammy Jo has gone on ahead, and she’s breathing easy as she get things ready for when we come home.

He Tried to Warn Us

Eve wonders why Adam has nipples and bites the apple to find out

 

In every society, the definition of marriage has not ever to my knowledge included homosexuality. That's not to pick on homosexuality. It's not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be."

-Rick Santorum (R-yiff)

Ricky's right -  first Will and Grace , then an epidemic of inter-species sexuality sweeps the land. Even the Creation Museum, guardian of all that is right and Biblically proper, is not immune to this infestation:

 

 A penguin ,who missed the meatless garden memo, blows Adam while Adam tries to pursuade the lion to lay down with the lamb and engage in a little menagerie a trois. God, wondering what he hath wrought, creates Eve as a companion for Adam. Shortly thereafter Adam returns to the penguin and is tossed out of the Garden.  Eve tags along for child support and the penguin is banished to Antarctica.

(images, um, borrowed from Viceland)

Sarah's Beautiful Movement

“I am a supporter of this movement. I believe in this movement,”

This is a big movement for her. No glass ceiling for this gal but maybe a glass table. Palin delivers a true Memphis Steamer to her surf and turf addled fans.  Long in the making, the Tea Party, a movement formed in the bowels of the American heartland, shaped by ordinary freedom loving Americans, the very fiber of our great nation, is ready to be loosed on the body politic. No longer bound by rationality or the Constitution, Tea Partiers - we salute you! Now bend over, America. It's time for your enema.

Errata

I was going to use Erratum but I figured that by the time I was done with this post I would find more errors regarding my previous Wyatt Earp post which, surprisingly enough, has not attracted any notice in the historical community. But potential historical inaccuracies aside, it is my writing that I am most concerned about. You would think that the son of an English teacher and father of a soon to be Literature professor would be able to construct sentences that bordered on the comprehensible but, it is not so nor likely is it to be. I started my Earp post with "And not a guy you would want to mess with." My first inclination was, of course, "not a guy you would want to fuck with".  But a blog that links to me, Savannah Red, tends to the conservative side (well, more than tends), and, as the link prints out the first couple of phrases of my current post, I don't want to piss him off and lose a potential source of advertising. Either with fuck or mess the sentence ends up a fucking mess. Mom told me never to end a sentence with a proposition. What am I supposed to say - He is not a guy with whom you would want to fuck or Fucking with this guy is not something you would want to do? Sorry, but I don't see any way out of this. Ending with a prepostion? Sometimes I just have to.